A Moment of Regret
by chiasypee
Summary: Shego visits Kim decades after they part ways.


She was old. That was all there was to it. Age had incremented into something insurmountable, even for the great Shego. No longer could she whup hero butt and pilfer things; painfully grinding bones and early-onset arthritis do not an effective thief make.

More often than not, she found herself doing… _nothing_. Languishing in her illicit wealth, as usual. Except this time, she had no great caper to look forward to, no incompetent boss to taunt, no teen hero to go vent her boredom on. Or her love. Her private island was just that; _private_. And Shego was beginning to resent it.

It started with the villainster-surfing. She would spend an hour or two trawling the networking site, checking up on the other ex-villains and on the newer generations of evildoers. Then came the great herobook-villainster merge of the 21st century. Never before had there been a safer place for those on the opposite sides of the law to interact. The 'couple hours' she used to spend on the site slowly grew into half a day, on her laptop, wherever she was. You wouldn't _believe_ the kind of heroes popping up nowadays!

One lazy afternoon, she chanced upon Kim Possible's profile. The woman was still looking _fine_. A cursory glance told her Kimmie was still actively fighting wrong, though these days she did so behind a desk. She had listed under Occupation, 'GJ senior council member'. Well, geez. What another perfect little milestone to her perfect life. A twinge of resentment crept into her heart. Then Shego noticed what was depicted under Spouse.

_The buffoon_?! The twinge wrenched itself into bitterness. She recognised that blank grin anywhere. That damp straw-coloured hair. The mud-brown eyes. Huh. He'd aged pretty well. Looks like Possible had forgotten her pretty fast. Oh, and lookee here… they'd gotten _busy_. Under Ron's picture were another two little thumbnails with very telling names:

Donald James Stoppable.

Dawn Hannah Stoppable.

Twins.

The bitterness wrenched itself again, multiplying tenfold. What the _hell_?

Shego had flown herself to Kim's residence afterwards. As a senior council member, Kim was only required at HQ for the deliberation of important decisions. The day-to-day running of GJ was left to the current Head. Kim, so naturally trusting, had listed her address on the site, too.

What a beautiful, gullible _idiot_.

Shego hesitated for a second on the porch, before pressing the doorbell. "What are you afraid of? That chapter in your life ended a long time ago," she berated herself. Still, Shego could not suppress the butterflies suddenly fluttering furiously around in her belly.

In a matter of seconds, she heard the familiar, light, rhythmic footfalls of her erstwhile foe. Shego took a hasty breath as the door opened, forcing her face into her characteristic lazy smirk.

Kim's first reaction, her loud cry of surprise, had been expected. What Shego had not anticipated, however, was the warm hug that followed. Or the whispered "I missed you", soft and desperate and vulnerable in her ear. It was almost like old times. And then the moment passed. Kim stepped away and beckoned her into the house. It was like looking through a tiny little window at the familiar affection behind a wall of polite concrete.

Kim babbled away, quite beside herself. _Shego_! Who'da thought! She went through the gracious niceties that one was supposed to with guests, before plopping herself down on an armchair next to Shego's.

Shego watched Kim as she continued their one-sided conversation. Though now older (a lot older), Kim had managed to retain her fresh, young prettiness. The years had sloughed the baby fat off Kim's face, leaving behind a firm jaw and well-defined cheekbones. Her face weathered only slight wrinkles while her hair, now slightly streaked with grey, seemed to add a… a regalness to her bearing. How… perfect. The bile rose slowly inside Shego, even as her heart steadily melted.

"So what've you been up to?"

Shego took a sip of her cocoa-moo, before clearing her throat. "Well I… ah, I've been keeping a low profile these days. You know, hanging around." She could not trust that Kim was still the same girl that she was back then, that she would not turn her in. This could still be a trap, after all.

"By the way, Kimmie, word has it you have… children."

"Well, yeah. I… I would've told you, but you never replied to the wedding invitation I sent you, or the emails, so I figured I probably had the wrong address, or that you were still… that you didn't want to see me again."

Shego grunted her acknowledgement. The truth was, as soon as Shego had received the elegant gilded invitation in the mail, she had crushed it and set fire to it and stomped heatedly on the remains. Even then, she had known it was _too late_ to go back, _too late_ to rekindle what she herself had _extinguished_ with Kimmie. Watching Kim tie the knot with whomever that Ronald Stoppable character was would have been sheer heartache.

The silence between them was palpable. Shego tried again.

"Um… tell me about them?"

Kim heaved a visible sigh of relief, before enthusiastically launching into a genuinely excited monologue.

"Don's working now, in Go City. He's the youngest judge in over thirty years! His wife and he are expecting kids soon. Dawn's working for GJ. She's rising up the ranks pretty fast, almost as quickly as I did before. She's like a mini version of me! They both take after me in looks, in fact, though Don has his father's lovely golden hair." She whipped out a lovingly creased picture from her back pocket. Kim had been right. The children, now adults in their own right, were vibrant and attractive and, well, _picture_ _perfect_. They seemed to shine with the same enthusiasm, the same… determination that Kim displayed as a teen.

They spent the hours as such, talking and laughing and reminiscing about the old days, both carefully skirting their past together. Soon it was time for Kim to start preparing dinner. Shego hurriedly made an excuse about having something better to do when Kim asked her to stay and meet Ron. At the door, Kim once more gave Shego a tight hug, and this time, Shego reciprocated. They stayed in this embrace for a few minutes, both realising this would probably be the last they saw of each other. They both knew Shego wouldn't want to return here, to see Kim again, to bring up old, bittersweet memories. Still, they continued with their contrived politeness, the false camaraderie that was now almost painful to affect, though it had once been so very easy and so very real.

And at the last possible moment, when Kim was about to close the door, Shego cracked.

"Kim, I still love you," she blurted.

Kim paused. The world had frozen in the wake of Shego's admission. Possibilities, once dried up and barren, surged forth once more. She opened the door again as slowly as she could, revelling in the moment.

"I know. And you know I do, too. You… you have no idea how _much_." She glanced down at her shoes, biting her lip. Gradually, excruciatingly, she willed the surge to a pathetic trickle, then to a stop. "But you're too late, Shego. Several decades too late."

Regret diffused slowly, agonizingly, through the fractures in Shego's heart.

"I waited for you, as long as I could. I really did. You never came back." Kim abruptly looked Shego straight in the eyes. The defiance that had characterised Kim's early teenage impossible stunts now laced her gaze. "I can't do this to my kids. Or to Ron. You know that."

Now it was Shego's turn to look away. She nodded silently, before grudgingly turning on her heel and trudging to her jet.

Kim leaned against the doorframe and watched Shego leave, wondering at what could have been. Then she turned back to her house – to her perfect life – and closed the door soundly behind her.


End file.
